I noticed the other day how much of what people chat about to each other could be put into the category of “the negative”.
For example, I get asked and ask others quite often “How was your drive?”. It's likely a bit regional and a bit Universal to ask about one's travel. Invariably the answer is negative. The traffic was terrible. There was an accident. Someone cut me off. Even if I said something neutral, people reframe it in a negative light. "Oh yeah, traffic is terrible."
Yesterday, I was coming home from the gym and at a time of day where I could expect a smooth and quick ride.
There was an accident and it was crowded and slow. I found myself being irritated and frustrated. Because crowded and slow is "bad". I started to imagine telling my husband all about the "terrible traffic" when I got home.
But…was that all that occurred on the drive? Was it only crowded and slow?
No.
There was beautiful sunshine. There were blazing fall colours. There were two hot air balloons hanging over the river in the beautiful sunshine amid blazing fall colours.
My telling of “the drive” would feel very different had I recounted “the positive” only rather than "the negative" only. My interaction with another person would feel very different. It would feel like my thinking. It would feel like my story.
Which feeling do I want to live in. Which feeling do I want to be with others in?
I realized it’s the positive one. Both are “realistic”. Both happened. Which one do I want to live? That’s up to me.
What if we all told "the positive" more often?
Coming January 2027: In Love With Life
I’m thrilled to be co-presenting this year-long program with my friend and colleague Katerina Fiserova. A full year of coming home to the joy of being alive, together. I'm really excited about this one because it's long enough to effect real change for you, the participant. Long enough to really explore and soak in "What is a life you would be in love with living?".
Details and sign-up are coming soon.
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