Waking Dreams and Thought-Mares
Waking Dreams and Thought-Mares
A truth about human beings is that we all make meaning out of things. Everything. Very quickly.
A look someone has on their face on the subway...
He only put away half the groceries...
I didn't go to the gym today...
We constantly think up little stories as to why something or what something means.
"That woman on the subway doesn't like my outfit. I knew I should have worn something better fitting. She thinks I'm fat."
"My husband doesn't care if the turkey cold cuts go bad. He left them on the counter. He doesn't care about the money they cost. He doesn't care about his family."
"I'm not good at following through on plans because I didn't go to the gym today."
We make things mean something so often, so seamlessly, we rarely notice.
Until we hang onto a meaning that doesn't feel good and then we notice it as a "problem". I put the word "problem" in quotes because the vast majority of problems that come from creating a meaning are not actually real. They are all in our minds. We can recognize this fairly easily.
Just because I didn't go to the gym when the air quality was bad doesn't mean anything about my progress or who I am or not being good at following through. Even though I still had that thought.
And yet we still think our meaning-making is somehow "real". As if we have to go off and solve the issue of our "follow through problem" that never existed. No matter how many times we think it.
It's as if we are dreaming it all up and we don't realize it.
You make the meaning. The power resides in you. The freedom comes when you watch yourself make the meaning and realize that it's you. And that it doesn't mean anything that you did that.
When we dream at night, we are making and dissolving meaning within the dream world all night long. We don't hang onto anything.
Something like this:
A guy steals your car, and you decide he's a "bad guy". All the prejudgements that come along with being a "bad guy" come into play. He instantly morphs into an old-timey villainous Snidely Whiplash type character from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show of the 1960's, complete with black coat, stovepipe hat, evil voice and all. (I was genuinely scared of Snidely Whiplash kidnapping me and tying me to the railroad tracks when I was a kid.) You chase this "bad guy" down only to find out that he's your long-lost brother. You change meaning on the spot. He's no longer the "bad guy" and morphs into another form that is your brother but also Matt Damon. You and Matt Damon, who's your brother, go on an adventure in your car, becoming the best of friends along the way.
During the day when we are awake, we also make and dissolve meaning using the same mechanism as our nighttime dreams.
Something like this:
You are driving along in your car with your friend when they comment on a current news item. You had previously decided your opinion of this news item, and it's the opposite of your friend's comment. Instantly, you feel a rush of emotions. All of a sudden, your friend appears different to you. Perhaps they aren't the person you had once thought. They have now morphed into a "bad guy" or maybe a "not-so-good-guy". Is the gleam in their eye avarice? Are they wearing a different outfit all of a sudden? Remember that time they didn't pay you back when you went out to dinner? Hmmm...Maybe you shouldn't trust them. Maybe you should be careful around them.
The only difference between these two scenarios is that we are more fluid in the nighttime dream and let the meaning dissolve on its own rather than hang onto it (by re-thinking it up, justifying it to ourselves, seeing it as a truth about someone else or the Universe).
We seem to think our thinking itself means something and so needs to be kept alive to dissect under a microscope. Or save for later. Like a snack that tastes awful.
Some thoughts and ideas we don't hang onto. We see them as just a passing thought. A cloud. As real as driving around with your-brother-who-is-also-Matt-Damon.
The simple act of thinking some thoughts are "important" or "real" causes our system to keep them.
We told it to.
If you haven't yet noticed, I am pointing out that there is absolutely no difference to our nighttime sleeping dreams and nightmares than to our daytime waking dreams and thought-mares.
We can shift and change both with equal ease. It's one of our in-built capacities as human beings.
Thought Experiment for the Week:
Have some fun playing with noticing the meaning you are adding to something this week and what if it wasn't there? Does the thing itself change?
Make up a meaning for something on purpose and then drop it with equal purpose. Have fun with this. What is the most outlandish meaning you can create? What about a more subtle one? How does it shape your world? How does it feel?
Now change it to something else and see how you shift.
Get a feel for how you naturally already do this.
We are the power behind our experience of life. Knowing that and noticing how we are using our power gives us back the freedom we were born with.
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With Love,
Sara Joy
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